My back against the wall Has me daydreaming out your window I'm hearing you say this first floor fall it will kill me If I jackknife and take my life out with style Sell my brain on craigslist who cares we'll be set And you won't have to hear me and I can't think we'll be fine Maybe then I can finally make some of my own friends I tried to make peace just ask my former self He said that things will get better If I wallow right here in the present Without letting the future knock my teeth out Existential dread is a nightmare but I accept it With the pain of loving yourself Of all the eyes they lead me to find the small things Even though I curse them I'm getting lost in the balance Of what everyday means to me Afraid to trust and you say you know everything just be open to me Like the window I dove out It never gave anything Swallowed by sorry affliction Wishing the calendar went at my pace If I couldn't separate what's real From the limits of consciousness I'd be well on my way Comatose as a suburban time bomb Light me up let me enjoy my own mistakes If I'm broken then I'll always be fixed I keep, losing My own, footing Just light me up, let me be Let me carve my own meaning I almost pierced through every dwelling I ever loved The pain is working Light me up, just let me be All alone for once the sound of the T.V. Sings away my guilt I'll sleep I can finally breathe with ease Choke the feathers of paradise Get them to the foreground You fight every scar with a fresh one Tell me how long you need Cause' this isn't my fault I keep, losing My own, footing You know this isn't my fault I keep, losing My own, footing

Anybody in there? Everybody's in there? Anybody home? Shook me from the hull, led me your door Pulled me through your house Do you even know I'm home? Say it's ok, say it's all good Keep the helmet on I can keep you with me Control, first stage Drowning in deep space I'm glad I left everyone I know behind As I'm grasping at frequencies when you wired the den Pretending that I'm Houston And your Apollo A launch pad to feel the sun without us anymore Burning, alone and slow I'm only lonely when you remind me Of all the reasons why I'm up here is It hurts way too much to learn and grow I still don't have the time to ditch your parts of me To find myself and I know I'm too far gone Tracing constellations past the toes of my shoes While you still try to make your problems mine And I'll always be here stuck with you Get that through your head And your twisted point of view Come in Apollo IV Suit up, depressurize Give them all one more Cut the comms and assume this mission is finished That evens out the score When you dipped your pen To rewrite our lives and watch us suffer I'm glad you finally thought of me Instead of just thinking of yourself Anybody in there? Everybody's in there Anybody?

Left your shoes on the doormat You always stepped on your welcome home Now grab your things in the night and leave With our hearts beating on the kitchen table I didn't want to go You forced me to leave Into the arms of the lotus Who cares for me Say I'm apathetic when We're just looking out for you trying to keep you safe As I watch the forest rise Hide inside the phone booth pretend your on your way Can you just sit still pick up the line Tell me why you're wanting to wear the bones that you break In the glare of the lake reflects despair in your glass And I'm the blood you shed I'm used to it Maybe I'm the one that's wrong I'll be waiting for a study in your poetry As the writers didn't dress my flaws Used the prose to wring the life out of everything Can't seem to let me go Months I ago I was a hole with a tombstone Stick my neck out for what you sown Cause I'm always too weak to do anything Had nothing to lose So why do you need me? You have all your friends Dancing around the trees With the fruits in hand You ask me the same thing Why do I run away From the ones I need? Say I'm apathetic when We're just looking out for you trying to keep you safe As I watch the forest rise Hide inside the phone booth pretend your on your way Can you just sit still pick up the line Tell me why it's fine to wear the bones that you break In the lake my reflection glares And I'm the blood you shed And I'm used to it Cause' it will always hurt me Believing we are closer now thanks to the pain you gave Dripping Autumn on your leaves Gliding as a flesh kite knotted in your selfish tree Both seeking, wanting some form of redemption Forgetting our only cure is Father Time's hands With desperation holding on to something Some how it's each other I'm used to it I never really wanted go You forced me to leave Into the arms of the lotus Who cared for me Always had nothing to lose So why do you need me? Why do I run away From the ones I need?

Grasping the sound of the grass How it grows through our cement cracks Underneath dandelion dreams At least their howls fill me with something for people to see It's evergreen, branches all manifest as a twist with ease Grow with me, a part of my leaves hand houses shade for all we see The stars will all die you have to paint the fields above and below Veins explode the engine shouts, "you have to help yourself" Towards the iron stench rusted affection stained red nature's medicine Spilt from our feeble lips, Treants of decadence With rings cut bare petals falling as summer snow Left in the cold, am I the only one who cares? Read between all the lines? Am I the only one that's scared? Ivy climbs day by day, whose the next in the way? While I'm locked in Fort Knox should I keep to myself? I don't what I'll say or what comes out of our mouths Hoping for blossoms a key to what I did In all the hues that reflect engrained roots are permanent So, why grow me in your shoebox Just to mulch me into pieces? Why grow me in your shoebox Just to mulch me into pieces? Cicadas all ring, "This is the way I always want things to be." Out brittle bone gently waving on the moonlight For another chance, sever my stem, buy a vase Here's my flowerhead Why do I have to wait for holidays to see you? Because of me, ask me The questions you have all the answers to So you can walk away, when you have what you need Some validation for leaving Was it personal to find flaws? Saying that you found some way I'm glad there's nothing scarier than facing the unknown I won't leave you for fallacy Although I deserve to be alone Just cause' of me, ask me The questions you have all the answers to So you can walk away, when you have what you need Some validation for leaving Butterflies ate all the oxygen Convinced to rip my eyes away And factor in the headroom This will happen all again Wait for me in memory I deserve to be alone I won't leave you for fallacy Believe me No one deserves to be alone

In your old room you grew with me These four walls always talk I know you still wouldn't listen To summer nights with Adult Swim And lightning filled yule tides Your hunting Tigrex in area 9 On snowy mountains you forgot your hot drinks Dazed from the flash bombs lay on your carpet Listen to Ralphie whine all night About everything about everything When you played every four star monster around 2000 We're waiting for Sleifer and Gravity Bind Holding on patience I hear you laugh It still makes me smile I hope this brings you back When you're on the expressway home Passing your only exit Do you think about the way we moved on? Or the times you stuck up for me in high school? I'm glad to be your burden It's a better word for brothers always be To me, I gave you everything I can And that's why we're worthless Still on the same page Of wanting some memories Won't be as pure as we get up in age That's because of our ways Still on the same page Of wasting away What's left of all the offerings That makes you who you are today I want to be on the same page My mind won't let me I'll stomach what you spout To keep you from getting hurt yourself From getting hurt yourself

Spelt your name from the pages of a magazine Issues we bought Better Homes in the shots you saved Make the most of the hole I made well What did you expect from me? Nothing more, nothing less Than another apology These words will rot away our teeth In a crossword hold The hints to make sure I know my place Like a shallow basket hoping You take the shell when the tide takes me Cut the cloth for a quilt Expect it all to get better Walk the sand beneath my skin Waiting for warmer weather Holding what we lost Take the ink blots Tell me what to see Mosaic castles Fills jars vacantly Hit the ground hypnotized I got to pick up the time hands Rust the guard to pull your lungs out again Sunk down my hollow basement Planting flowers in the foundation Knowing too well the rafters will cave in. Walk the sand beneath my skin Knowing that the rafters will cave in Cut the cloth for a quilt Expect it all to get better Walk the sand beneath my skin Waiting for warmer weather Holding what we lost We're drowning in our remedy

Don't worry about the things that's said You just need another wheel to be her sidecar It's been a hard time making sense Glad the thunder of the engine fills your headspace When the HOV lane ends The rain will preach our names to your skeleton That's when I'll be on my way Cause' I'll always be your sidecar Staring through you to the future I am listening Tarot cards you left outside your university Magic eight ball adds I'm gonna hurt my best friend He'll be fine, we won't think about it that way Always together with winds of levity Basking in the glow of all your accolades Reassuring I can get away with anything I'll keep it buried you won't think about it anyway Karma let me explore The weather below The birdcage above your soul I've seen the fault lines dance And shape some peace of mind Gem stones vilify All faces deep inside your hands If I have to accept, your happiness Enjoy the husk and let me live with what you left You said that you would call Once you know how to convince yourself That I'm worthless when you wrote my name Am I only your brother when you want to see my face In the truth you want around yourself Another lie for you to take you'll get away from this hell When all your hope's choked up Strangled overgrown we'll pray for new seeds sown In lives thrown to wolves made to become so much more Don't worry about the things that's said You just need another wheel to be her sidecar It's been a hard time making sense Glad the thunder of the engine fills your headspace When the HOV lane ends The rain will preach our names to your skeleton That's when I'll be on my way Cause' I'll always be your sidecar